Since Bill died, my birthday has become the saddest day of my year. That surprised me. But I missed him so much I just wanted to crawl under the covers and cry the day away.

This year I decided I had to do something about this. If I didn’t, then my birthday would remain a sad day and that just didn’t seem right.

So I held a different version of a surprise party. I invited some friends to a dessert potluck. The surprise was that I didn’t tell them that I also hired Karla Kloeble to come and try to teach us to hula hoop! It was a blast! Thanks to my friends who attended and to all my friends who sent birthday wishes today as well. I am blessed.

So I feel like I’ve reclaimed my birthday. This doesn’t mean that I’m “over” Bill’s death, or that I’m “moving on”. It just means that I chose to find some joy in this day. And now I will go to bed, crawl under the covers and cry myself to sleep. I still miss him so much.

But I bet you’re wondering if I got my birthday wish and succeeded in hula hooping, aren’t you? Judge for yourself: