Yesterday morning you left us.

Passed away.

Died.

And I wanted the world to stop.

Just for a moment.

But it was too much to ask.

I escaped the crowded church where I heard the news.

People would not stop talking and visiting and living.

I ran outside to the park, where the grass was turning brown and leaves were falling

But there too, life carried on.

I wanted to scream at the birds in the trees to quit singing.

I wanted to holler at the cars driving by to stop.

“Haven’t you heard? Mary’s gone!”

Although my brain understood,

My heart did not, could not.

Rationality and grief –

the two sides of death’s coin.

“Her suffering is over.”

“People die every minute.”

“Not everyone knew Mary.”

My head ached with rationality.

“Her eyes twinkled when she smiled.”

“She was so kind.”

“It’s so unfair.”

My heart ached with grief.

Throughout the day the coin flipped, over and over –

“Buck up.”

“I miss her.”

“Carry on.”

“Her poor family.”

“Tend to your obligations.”

“Just leave me alone.”

This morning the sun rises on a new day

And the coin lands on its edge –

Life goes on, but without Mary.